Friday, January 28, 2011
Anything for blankie
So Jenna only gets her blankie for bed time, and we keep it at the top of her closet. There is also a toy chest in front of her closet. She always tries to sneak it. You see where this is going. First she started moving her night stand across the room, but we caught her. Then it was quiet. That's never a good thing. She wasn't in her room, and when she doesn't respond to my calling her I know she has blankie. I found her with the blankie, sucking her thumb in Jared's room. I couldn't help but laugh, and I told her to show me how she got it. Standing on the toy chest, she used her hobby horse to reach and get the it down. Then she said she "tiptoed to Jared's room." It's now in the hall closet, and she's standing and trying to balance on Cookie Monster and reaching to get the blankie once again. Ugh.
Trippy
I literally feel like I am in a different day than the one I woke up to this morning. I know I lay out my day's schedule a lot, so sorry if it seems monotonous, but here's a snapshot of my morning. It all started with a high squeal and crying.
5:45 - 6:15 a.m. Jared wakes up, gets a bottle and goes back down.
6 a.m. - Jenna is awake, Lance is getting ready for work.
6:15 a.m. - I walk out from Jared's room to Jenna already playing on the computer and Lance in the kitchen. I go take a shower...and pray while I'm in there!
7 a.m. - Get Jenna off the computer. Right now it's really a blur what happended between then and 7:45 when Ava woke up.
7:45 a.m. - Got Ava, changed her, made Jenna go potty, got breakfast ready.
8 a.m. - Had breakfast with the girls. Ava loves oatmeal, Jenna does not unless it has blueberries, but oh well, they got grapes instead and she took forever eating. Put some cartoons on after breakfast while I balanced the checkbook.
8:45 a.m. - Got Jared up, changed and out to feed him breakfast. From this time, the girls played, we read some, watched some SuperWhy and Yo Gabba Gabba on DVR.
10 a.m. - The girls get snacks, and I give Jared a bottle in his room so he wouldn't be too distracted. Of course the girls end up in there anyway :)
By 10:30 my brain was so heavy, I've had a cup of coffee, but it has done absolutely nothing for my 5 hour sleep last night, which was on the couch because I fell asleep watching Jimmy Fallon. So Ava was off for a nap! She took a while to go to sleep, but I also put Jared in his swing for a nap at this time. He was asleep in 15 minutes. Since Jenna had gotten up so early I thought NAP FOR EVERYONE. I got some laundry going while Jenna went potty again, and we both laid down in my room. The last time I looked at the clock it was 11. Jenna made a couple escape attempts when my eyes were closed, but after a trip to the potty and some threats to take away her animal figures and no movie today she managed to lay still. We both fell asleep! At one point I could faintly hear Ava yelling "UP" and talking in her crib. I could also hear the squeaking of her mattress while she's bouncing. I finally opened my eyes at 12:30 to Jenna passed out, mouth open, thumb falling out of her mouth and all. So I slid out of bed to get Ava. I realized as soon as I walked in why she was yelling, phew! When I took her in Jared's room to the changing table I could see the sun shining through the curtains, and I had the weirdest feeling that I skipped a day and woke up to a bright, sunny morning after a full night of sleep. We proceeded to the kitchen to get some lunch. It didn't take long for Jared to wake up with her running around, but I let him continue swinging while we sat at the table and chatted :) I sat down to start writing this just before 1, at which time I saw Ava go into my room (I should've closed the door all the way)! I quiety rushed in there, grabbed her under the arms, took her out and closed the door. She immediately started crying, "Jenna wake up!" Sorry sweetpea, not happening if I can do something about it. Then she wanted to go into Jenna's bed, saying, "nigh night." Hm, that could work. She loves anything of Jenna's and tries to imitate her all day long, so we'll try it out. Case in point, SHE COMES OUT OF THE ROOM lol and is saying, "Climb." She can't get back up on the bed herself. Then it took a whole minute when I left for her to start peeling off the flower wall stickers (which I'm sure she has seen Jenna do repeatedly as many of them are moved around the wall). I went in there and said, "No stickers, lay down." As soon as I left she did it again, of course. I walked in, and she immediately jumped to lay down with a big smile on her face. She knows exactly what she is doing. She did it one more time with a warning "no stickers" or she was going to go to her bed. That was inevitable. I figured she didn't get a good nap in earlier since she ended up with a messy diaper, so I put her in her crib. I gave Jared his bottle at 1:15. He is already insisting on holding it and taking his sweet time. Actually very sweet because he stops to baby scream and laugh, so I don't mind the extra time :) It's 2 p.m. now. I hear Ava playing in her crib, Jared's getting sleep again, and Jenna is still asleep.
As I wrote in my bio blurb under my picture, I have seen a lot of things, many of them weird, unexplainable, many surprising and disturbing (one of which was the eery feeling all morning of 9/11, the peacefulness of the day that I felt until the first tower was hit, surreal!). Not that today and that day come even remotely close in themselves, but today falls into one of those weird feeling categories, but in a good way. I'm sure the fact that I started my day by praying as something to do with this :) For some reason I had no problem letting Ava ride her tricycle through the living room. And the last time I slept during the day was when I had a stomach virus. I never do it, and the timing doesn't usually work out that I can if I wanted to, but I am OH SO GLAD that I did. Cheers to one of the weirdest feeling, but calmest, days of my parenthood.
5:45 - 6:15 a.m. Jared wakes up, gets a bottle and goes back down.
6 a.m. - Jenna is awake, Lance is getting ready for work.
6:15 a.m. - I walk out from Jared's room to Jenna already playing on the computer and Lance in the kitchen. I go take a shower...and pray while I'm in there!
7 a.m. - Get Jenna off the computer. Right now it's really a blur what happended between then and 7:45 when Ava woke up.
7:45 a.m. - Got Ava, changed her, made Jenna go potty, got breakfast ready.
8 a.m. - Had breakfast with the girls. Ava loves oatmeal, Jenna does not unless it has blueberries, but oh well, they got grapes instead and she took forever eating. Put some cartoons on after breakfast while I balanced the checkbook.
8:45 a.m. - Got Jared up, changed and out to feed him breakfast. From this time, the girls played, we read some, watched some SuperWhy and Yo Gabba Gabba on DVR.
10 a.m. - The girls get snacks, and I give Jared a bottle in his room so he wouldn't be too distracted. Of course the girls end up in there anyway :)
By 10:30 my brain was so heavy, I've had a cup of coffee, but it has done absolutely nothing for my 5 hour sleep last night, which was on the couch because I fell asleep watching Jimmy Fallon. So Ava was off for a nap! She took a while to go to sleep, but I also put Jared in his swing for a nap at this time. He was asleep in 15 minutes. Since Jenna had gotten up so early I thought NAP FOR EVERYONE. I got some laundry going while Jenna went potty again, and we both laid down in my room. The last time I looked at the clock it was 11. Jenna made a couple escape attempts when my eyes were closed, but after a trip to the potty and some threats to take away her animal figures and no movie today she managed to lay still. We both fell asleep! At one point I could faintly hear Ava yelling "UP" and talking in her crib. I could also hear the squeaking of her mattress while she's bouncing. I finally opened my eyes at 12:30 to Jenna passed out, mouth open, thumb falling out of her mouth and all. So I slid out of bed to get Ava. I realized as soon as I walked in why she was yelling, phew! When I took her in Jared's room to the changing table I could see the sun shining through the curtains, and I had the weirdest feeling that I skipped a day and woke up to a bright, sunny morning after a full night of sleep. We proceeded to the kitchen to get some lunch. It didn't take long for Jared to wake up with her running around, but I let him continue swinging while we sat at the table and chatted :) I sat down to start writing this just before 1, at which time I saw Ava go into my room (I should've closed the door all the way)! I quiety rushed in there, grabbed her under the arms, took her out and closed the door. She immediately started crying, "Jenna wake up!" Sorry sweetpea, not happening if I can do something about it. Then she wanted to go into Jenna's bed, saying, "nigh night." Hm, that could work. She loves anything of Jenna's and tries to imitate her all day long, so we'll try it out. Case in point, SHE COMES OUT OF THE ROOM lol and is saying, "Climb." She can't get back up on the bed herself. Then it took a whole minute when I left for her to start peeling off the flower wall stickers (which I'm sure she has seen Jenna do repeatedly as many of them are moved around the wall). I went in there and said, "No stickers, lay down." As soon as I left she did it again, of course. I walked in, and she immediately jumped to lay down with a big smile on her face. She knows exactly what she is doing. She did it one more time with a warning "no stickers" or she was going to go to her bed. That was inevitable. I figured she didn't get a good nap in earlier since she ended up with a messy diaper, so I put her in her crib. I gave Jared his bottle at 1:15. He is already insisting on holding it and taking his sweet time. Actually very sweet because he stops to baby scream and laugh, so I don't mind the extra time :) It's 2 p.m. now. I hear Ava playing in her crib, Jared's getting sleep again, and Jenna is still asleep.
As I wrote in my bio blurb under my picture, I have seen a lot of things, many of them weird, unexplainable, many surprising and disturbing (one of which was the eery feeling all morning of 9/11, the peacefulness of the day that I felt until the first tower was hit, surreal!). Not that today and that day come even remotely close in themselves, but today falls into one of those weird feeling categories, but in a good way. I'm sure the fact that I started my day by praying as something to do with this :) For some reason I had no problem letting Ava ride her tricycle through the living room. And the last time I slept during the day was when I had a stomach virus. I never do it, and the timing doesn't usually work out that I can if I wanted to, but I am OH SO GLAD that I did. Cheers to one of the weirdest feeling, but calmest, days of my parenthood.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Sick and tired
Well, it's been almost 2 weeks since Jared stopped nursing, and it has been 3 days that he has had a fever. He has had nothing more than a runny nose for 7 months, then he gets sick. Just when all doubts about going to formula had settled, the lack of my immunity-boosting nourishment for this tiny person has caused him to get sick. Ok, he might have gotten sick anyway considering both girls had a cold, but the timing doesn't help.
The plague seeped in on Monday, the 17th. Since Lance was off work I decided we should all go out to the mall, let Jenna unwind in the play area and use the babies' Build-a-Bear gift cards. Somehow I had completely overlooked the fact that the play area would be PACKED because of the holiday. But Jenna wanted to play, we were staying. Build-a-Bear is right next to the play area, so we went there first thinking the play area might not be as crowded in 30 minutes. No such luck. But it was fun picking out some new friends for Jared (Buster a spotted puppy) and Ava (Kara the Hello Kitty). Just a side note, on the drive to the mall, anticipating going to Build-a-Bear I actually envisioned a spotted puppy that we would get Jared and we would name him Buster, then I saw just that in the window of the store. It was really wierd. I wonder if he'll be extra special to Jared LOL. It was a long wait in line to stuff them, of course Jenna just wanted to plug her ears while the girl ran the cotton machine. She lightened up for the second animal and actually stepped on the pedal to run the machine. I love that store. I have more fun doing the "baths" and picking out the clothes that the kids do. I almost got the Hello Kitty mini couch, but I got a look and "uh...no" from Lance, so that didn't happen :) Oh well. It was on to the play area.
There were a lot of big kids, we knew Ava would just get trampled, so Lance put her on some of the mechanical cars and then took her and Jared in the stroller to get some cookies while I stayed with Jenna. She made a little friend (no surprise) and they played hide and seek. It was cute because there were so many kids they really had to look for each other. The time passed quickly, Lance came back. I asked if he got cookies, he said "I got cookies for us." I left it at that. Note that exact phrasing. Ava was getting cranky, so it was time to head out. We got in the car, and I looked around for some cookies. So I asked Lance where they were, and he said, "We ate them. I got some for me and Ava." Um, ok, we are having communication issues lately! LOL I pointed out his phrasing when I asked him earlier, but I should've known that I needed to be more specific. So no, "us" just meant him and Ava, not "all of us." Then of course I feel bad having told Jenna when we LEFT the play area that we would have cookies when we left. Now, usually I am super-anal about wiping the kids hands off after they've been somewhere germy, so I don't know what I was thinking not doing this for Jenna when we got in the car! When we got home she went potty and washed them, but the damage was done. Sickness was inevitable. By Wednesday she was coughing and sneezing all over the place. Sunday morning Ava had a fever. She's a tough cookie, though and was over it in a couple days. It's been a week now, and Jenna has that lingering loose cough, but is overall just fine. Saturday night, though, Jared started with a low fever of 99. It's been up and down since then, the highest was last night at 103. I finally broke down yesterday and let Lance take him to the doctor. It's not that I don't want him to get better, but I always try to hold off because I know he's just going to get antibiotics, which he just finished for an ear infection a couple weeks ago. Jared has also had a nasty chest cough and some wheezing, which I've been treating with Albuterol. So inevitably, he has a double ear infection and was prescribed with antibiotics. I'm glad that this time he got a 5-day antibiotic instead of another 10-day. Praying this will take! Poor little guy. He's only been drinking 3 or 4 ounces at a time, but getting plenty of rest. We were supposed to go to a MOPS playdate this morning, but he was at 101 when he got up. Another leisurely day in the Clifton house. So far Lance and I have avoided this cold that the kids have passed around. I hope it stays that way. We've all been sick off and on since Christmas, and I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I can't wait for spring!!!
The plague seeped in on Monday, the 17th. Since Lance was off work I decided we should all go out to the mall, let Jenna unwind in the play area and use the babies' Build-a-Bear gift cards. Somehow I had completely overlooked the fact that the play area would be PACKED because of the holiday. But Jenna wanted to play, we were staying. Build-a-Bear is right next to the play area, so we went there first thinking the play area might not be as crowded in 30 minutes. No such luck. But it was fun picking out some new friends for Jared (Buster a spotted puppy) and Ava (Kara the Hello Kitty). Just a side note, on the drive to the mall, anticipating going to Build-a-Bear I actually envisioned a spotted puppy that we would get Jared and we would name him Buster, then I saw just that in the window of the store. It was really wierd. I wonder if he'll be extra special to Jared LOL. It was a long wait in line to stuff them, of course Jenna just wanted to plug her ears while the girl ran the cotton machine. She lightened up for the second animal and actually stepped on the pedal to run the machine. I love that store. I have more fun doing the "baths" and picking out the clothes that the kids do. I almost got the Hello Kitty mini couch, but I got a look and "uh...no" from Lance, so that didn't happen :) Oh well. It was on to the play area.
There were a lot of big kids, we knew Ava would just get trampled, so Lance put her on some of the mechanical cars and then took her and Jared in the stroller to get some cookies while I stayed with Jenna. She made a little friend (no surprise) and they played hide and seek. It was cute because there were so many kids they really had to look for each other. The time passed quickly, Lance came back. I asked if he got cookies, he said "I got cookies for us." I left it at that. Note that exact phrasing. Ava was getting cranky, so it was time to head out. We got in the car, and I looked around for some cookies. So I asked Lance where they were, and he said, "We ate them. I got some for me and Ava." Um, ok, we are having communication issues lately! LOL I pointed out his phrasing when I asked him earlier, but I should've known that I needed to be more specific. So no, "us" just meant him and Ava, not "all of us." Then of course I feel bad having told Jenna when we LEFT the play area that we would have cookies when we left. Now, usually I am super-anal about wiping the kids hands off after they've been somewhere germy, so I don't know what I was thinking not doing this for Jenna when we got in the car! When we got home she went potty and washed them, but the damage was done. Sickness was inevitable. By Wednesday she was coughing and sneezing all over the place. Sunday morning Ava had a fever. She's a tough cookie, though and was over it in a couple days. It's been a week now, and Jenna has that lingering loose cough, but is overall just fine. Saturday night, though, Jared started with a low fever of 99. It's been up and down since then, the highest was last night at 103. I finally broke down yesterday and let Lance take him to the doctor. It's not that I don't want him to get better, but I always try to hold off because I know he's just going to get antibiotics, which he just finished for an ear infection a couple weeks ago. Jared has also had a nasty chest cough and some wheezing, which I've been treating with Albuterol. So inevitably, he has a double ear infection and was prescribed with antibiotics. I'm glad that this time he got a 5-day antibiotic instead of another 10-day. Praying this will take! Poor little guy. He's only been drinking 3 or 4 ounces at a time, but getting plenty of rest. We were supposed to go to a MOPS playdate this morning, but he was at 101 when he got up. Another leisurely day in the Clifton house. So far Lance and I have avoided this cold that the kids have passed around. I hope it stays that way. We've all been sick off and on since Christmas, and I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I can't wait for spring!!!
Friday, January 21, 2011
Is there anyone out there, outside...
Today has been a pretty good, but busy day. Jared woke up at 5 a.m. this morning to eat. I only know this because I asked Lance when I called him at work this morning. I didn't hear him on the monitor or hear Lance get up for work. I got great sleep last night, and when I woke up at 7:15 both girls were still in bed and Jared was starting to wake up, talking through the monitor. Perfect time to get in a shower. I got myself together, Jenna was out on the computer and the babies weren't complaining yet. By the time I got Ava and Jared up and changed it was 8 o'clock. Some other things to kick off the good day: 1) payday; 2) Lance coming home at 12:30; and 3) fresh coffee. I also got a text this morning that one of my closest friends had her baby in the middle of the night! Welcome Isaiah :) We were also looking forward to kids movie night at church with "Finding Nemo."
At 8:30 I gave Jared a bottle, put some cartoons on for the girls, and got some coffee and breakfast going. It was a really quick morning. 11 o'clock rolled around, gave the girls snacks and Ava went down for a nap around 11:45. Lance came home with a pizza for lunch before Jenna and I went to her preschool to do a Dial 3 Screening for 3-5 year olds. With the late breakfast and snacks, plus recovering from a cold, Jenna wasn't hungry at all for lunch, so she got a string cheese before we left.
I had never heard of this program until moving to St. Louis, but it's called Parents as Teachers. It's a free service through our district where parent educators can come to your home and evaluate your kids milestones and development but also give you tips on helping your kids meet goals. Basically, as a parent, "you are your child's first and most important teacher." The screening is made to determine if your child is on track with their development based on averages for their age. They look at gross and fine motor skills, concepts, speech and language and social development, and also check their vision and hearing. It couldn't hurt, and it might actually boost my own self-esteem that I'm doing something right in the midst of beating myself up for yelling or snapping at Jenna. I really think children's behavior outside the home is partly their own personality but also very much the influences on them IN the home. I think I really underestimate Jenna sometimes. She gets so whiny and difficult a lot at home, but I know she is a big social butterfly, loves interacting with other people, and is improving so much on listening (to other adults, not me). She can't really express herself at home when I'm constantly shifting my attention off of whatever I'm doing with her to tend to Ava or Jared. I try to take advantage of any opportunity to get her out and about, especially school. She loves it, and I love that. So onto the screening.
I wasn't really sure what to expect, so I was prepping Jenna by telling her that a teacher was going to ask her about the things she's learning in preschool, her numbers, etc. We signed in and went to the waiting area of the school lobby that has toys and books. It didn't take long for one of the "parent educators", who is also a sub for Jenna's teacher, to come out and get Jenna. She asked, "Jenna, do you want to go play some games?" To which Jenna replied, "Sure. Mommy, can I go play some games?" It was adorable. Then she rushed off as excited as can be, chatting down the hallway. I delighted in the other parent's amusement of her. She is something else. I knew that I wouldn't be in there with her, but I didn't like just sitting and waiting with nothing to do for an hour. I did some texting for a couple minutes, and another mom had come back to the waiting area after peeking into the gym where the kids were. Without being too obvious that I was going to do exactly what she did, I gave it a few minutes, then made my way around to the gym. Jenna's teacher was walking out of her room at the same time, and she was just as anxious to peek in at Jenna with me and adding that she expects Jenna will have no problem with kindergarten. We were chatting trying to steer clear of the windows. After a few minutes, her teacher left and I stayed to spy. I watched Jenna sitting at a table by herself with the educator, listening intently, and then sorting shapes into piles. I also saw her stacking blocks at one point. They changed stations to do motor skills: throwing and catching, hopping, jumping, skipping. When they left that station she spotted me through the window, AH. I didn't want to throw her off and make her non-compliant by the mere sight of me. The educator said something to the effect of "it's someone's mommy," to which Jenna quickly replied, "It's mine!" I quickly moved out of the sight and then felt totally stupid. I heard her talking, but I decided to just go back to the waiting area. I had been gone too long. My sister called after a few minutes, so I went out the first set of front doors. It was nice and heated between those doors and the outer set of doors. I saw two of the educators come to the waiting area and then another mom direct them toward the front door, so I rushed off the phone and went back inside. I followed them to the gym where Jenna was playing with (what else) animals with a little boy. She looked so cute and grown up all on her own in that room. I sat at a little table to discuss the results of Jenna's evaluations.
I wish I could've had the copy of the results that they keep because they showed the specific tasks that they did, so I'll try to jog my memory. She mentioned the block stacking activity for motor skills, which was also copying. She stacked a single tower but had a little difficulty building a pyramid style with the long level on the bottom, smaller level stacked above that in a row, etc. She did great with the physical things, jumping on one foot, skipping, etc. Some fine motors skills need work. She is on track with cutting for her age level (3-4yrs), though we need to practice some more. She isn't as coordinated with twiddling her thumbs and touching each finger to her thumbs. I never would've even though to practice something like that. But she did great with "concepts" such as, naming colors while being timed (15 in 30 seconds...or something like that), identifying body parts (except wrist), positions (between, above, below), sorting and identifying shapes and identifying concepts. One in particular was looking at a picture and telling what it's used for. One picture showed a thermometer, but Jenna said it was a ruler (I guess it looked similar with the little lines, and we use the forehead scanner at home. I don't think she's seen those old-school thermometers LOL). The educator asked what a ruler is used for, and Jenna said, "to see how long you are." :) The educator was really impressed with Jenna's rhyming ability and identifying upper and lower case letters. She also had to copy some letters and symbols. The triangle and diamond were tricky. She was trying to do the diamond, stopped and said, "That's not right," and quickly moved on to the next one. She did an eye spy picture game to identify the objects that start with a certain sound, like find the things that start with the "t" sound. As far as behavior, on one hand I was surprised that there were NO concerns, but then again it's always different when mommy isn't hovering to correct her every mis-step. That automatically turns into selective hearing and straight-up ignoring! She listened, stayed on task, and understood directions.
At one point when we were discussing the behavior, and the woman said they call Jenna the cheerleader because she's so enthusiastic about everything, I just had to laugh and tell the woman that it must be that she got out of the house because we've been cooped up inside, and I've been seeing a different little girl. Of course I know how well Jenna separates from me and does in school, but I realized the woman could take that as me being out of touch with Jenna or that I don't appreciate that about her or something. It's weird how I feel like I have to defend my parenting. Also, when she was talking about working on cutting with scissors, I told her that I have two other little ones that I'm going back and forth with, so I'm not really leaving Jenna with scissors to practice. I laughed about it, but hopefully she didn't take offense to that :-\ Either way, I sat at that table doing everything I could to not 1) cry and 2) laugh hysterically in sheer pride and joy. It's just a preK screening, but in those 15 minutes of going over Jenna's skills assessment I felt such satisfaction and accomplishment in myself. She didn't have to straight out say, you've done a great job, and she didn't. But sitting there seeing her reaction to all that Jenna was able to do and the individual that she is, was validation enough for me.
I feel like since having the babies, I miss developments and things with Jenna that she gets in school, but I am really glad that she has her outlet in school and can come home, we can be excited together on her counting or drawing something new or some different craft, things that I don't really have the time and energy to do at home...I guess except on snow days. It was really perfect, God-ordained timing with Jenna's age and having Ava. On one hand I'm going to always be a teacher for Jenna, but on the other, as Ava is getting bigger I feel like I've taught Jenna all I can in the "getting ready for school" capacity, atleast at this time in my life with the demands of Ava and Jared. I am so grateful that I was able to spend her first three years so focused on her, reading to her, taking her out, teaching, practicing, playing. Thankfully Ava takes a big nap during the day where Jenna and I can do projects or do a learning workbook. But at times I'll start something with Jenna, and have to say, "Oh wait, Ava's awake, I'll be back," or "Hold on, I need to get Jared's bottle ready." Today she did get whiny when I had to feed Jared. She just wanted me to put him in his rocking chair :) But while we don't have many routines left besides baby napping schedules, she has adapted really well. It was no surprise, though, that when Lance asked who she wanted to take her to movie night she said, "Mommy. I love mommy."
But before we headed out for that, I took Ava with me to go visit my friend and her baby. We stopped to get some flowers and then made it through the 17 degree (lower with wind chill) walk inside the hospital. One thing I thought about was that, although Jared is really little for his age, he has grown so much! Thankfully I had no yearning for another child or anything when I held the baby :) I kept Ava in the stroller, so we didn't stay too long as she was getting whiny, but it was a nice outing with just me and her. We got home, I cooked up some meat for Lance to make tacos, and Jenna and I were off to church. We did stop at the bakery for a big Valentine's day cookie (that Jenna picked out), and I had a miniature piece of white cake with a strawberry sauce, white chocolate mousse and strawberry on top. We were going to be a few minutes late for the movie, but it was nice to not make her rush to get somewhere. It's also good that she missed the baracuda in the beginning, it's scares her. Although she did surprisingly well during the scary angler fish part I'm trying to prep her for scary, loud things like that by telling her to plug her ears and close her eyes. Before she would run out of the room altogether, but I think I've convinced her that she doesn't have to miss more of the movie than necessary by leaving the room. Just close your ears and eyes, and I'll tell you when it's done. She must have asked me 10 times to sit right by her so I can hold her during the scary parts. She also knows how to control the remote to fast-foward the DVR for recorded movies, so she can get past the scary parts herself. Overall, the time out for us today was great. She had great manners, telling me thank you every time I brought a drink or food to our table for us, she would climb on my lap during the movie, we played a little Wii. There was also a little devotional for the kids mid-movie to think about why Nemo got in trouble and lost (he didn't listen to his dad), and that even though Nemo didn't listen, his dad still loved him and wasn't going to stop until he found him. She was exhausted by the time we got home, and so was I. I'm not used to being out that late. I think we left around 8:30. It's 11:30 right now, and I'm delusional.
In closing, no matter how much I have to tell Jenna to wait, stop what she's doing to Ava, don't do this or that...I love that girl, and she loves me, and now she has shown the world, well her preschool, how much I've invested in her. I guess I should technically say that I don't need recognition, it's my job as a mother to also be a teacher and guide her, and I do it out of my love for her. That's all fine and dandy, but it's also nice to know that someone notices!!!
At 8:30 I gave Jared a bottle, put some cartoons on for the girls, and got some coffee and breakfast going. It was a really quick morning. 11 o'clock rolled around, gave the girls snacks and Ava went down for a nap around 11:45. Lance came home with a pizza for lunch before Jenna and I went to her preschool to do a Dial 3 Screening for 3-5 year olds. With the late breakfast and snacks, plus recovering from a cold, Jenna wasn't hungry at all for lunch, so she got a string cheese before we left.
I had never heard of this program until moving to St. Louis, but it's called Parents as Teachers. It's a free service through our district where parent educators can come to your home and evaluate your kids milestones and development but also give you tips on helping your kids meet goals. Basically, as a parent, "you are your child's first and most important teacher." The screening is made to determine if your child is on track with their development based on averages for their age. They look at gross and fine motor skills, concepts, speech and language and social development, and also check their vision and hearing. It couldn't hurt, and it might actually boost my own self-esteem that I'm doing something right in the midst of beating myself up for yelling or snapping at Jenna. I really think children's behavior outside the home is partly their own personality but also very much the influences on them IN the home. I think I really underestimate Jenna sometimes. She gets so whiny and difficult a lot at home, but I know she is a big social butterfly, loves interacting with other people, and is improving so much on listening (to other adults, not me). She can't really express herself at home when I'm constantly shifting my attention off of whatever I'm doing with her to tend to Ava or Jared. I try to take advantage of any opportunity to get her out and about, especially school. She loves it, and I love that. So onto the screening.
I wasn't really sure what to expect, so I was prepping Jenna by telling her that a teacher was going to ask her about the things she's learning in preschool, her numbers, etc. We signed in and went to the waiting area of the school lobby that has toys and books. It didn't take long for one of the "parent educators", who is also a sub for Jenna's teacher, to come out and get Jenna. She asked, "Jenna, do you want to go play some games?" To which Jenna replied, "Sure. Mommy, can I go play some games?" It was adorable. Then she rushed off as excited as can be, chatting down the hallway. I delighted in the other parent's amusement of her. She is something else. I knew that I wouldn't be in there with her, but I didn't like just sitting and waiting with nothing to do for an hour. I did some texting for a couple minutes, and another mom had come back to the waiting area after peeking into the gym where the kids were. Without being too obvious that I was going to do exactly what she did, I gave it a few minutes, then made my way around to the gym. Jenna's teacher was walking out of her room at the same time, and she was just as anxious to peek in at Jenna with me and adding that she expects Jenna will have no problem with kindergarten. We were chatting trying to steer clear of the windows. After a few minutes, her teacher left and I stayed to spy. I watched Jenna sitting at a table by herself with the educator, listening intently, and then sorting shapes into piles. I also saw her stacking blocks at one point. They changed stations to do motor skills: throwing and catching, hopping, jumping, skipping. When they left that station she spotted me through the window, AH. I didn't want to throw her off and make her non-compliant by the mere sight of me. The educator said something to the effect of "it's someone's mommy," to which Jenna quickly replied, "It's mine!" I quickly moved out of the sight and then felt totally stupid. I heard her talking, but I decided to just go back to the waiting area. I had been gone too long. My sister called after a few minutes, so I went out the first set of front doors. It was nice and heated between those doors and the outer set of doors. I saw two of the educators come to the waiting area and then another mom direct them toward the front door, so I rushed off the phone and went back inside. I followed them to the gym where Jenna was playing with (what else) animals with a little boy. She looked so cute and grown up all on her own in that room. I sat at a little table to discuss the results of Jenna's evaluations.
I wish I could've had the copy of the results that they keep because they showed the specific tasks that they did, so I'll try to jog my memory. She mentioned the block stacking activity for motor skills, which was also copying. She stacked a single tower but had a little difficulty building a pyramid style with the long level on the bottom, smaller level stacked above that in a row, etc. She did great with the physical things, jumping on one foot, skipping, etc. Some fine motors skills need work. She is on track with cutting for her age level (3-4yrs), though we need to practice some more. She isn't as coordinated with twiddling her thumbs and touching each finger to her thumbs. I never would've even though to practice something like that. But she did great with "concepts" such as, naming colors while being timed (15 in 30 seconds...or something like that), identifying body parts (except wrist), positions (between, above, below), sorting and identifying shapes and identifying concepts. One in particular was looking at a picture and telling what it's used for. One picture showed a thermometer, but Jenna said it was a ruler (I guess it looked similar with the little lines, and we use the forehead scanner at home. I don't think she's seen those old-school thermometers LOL). The educator asked what a ruler is used for, and Jenna said, "to see how long you are." :) The educator was really impressed with Jenna's rhyming ability and identifying upper and lower case letters. She also had to copy some letters and symbols. The triangle and diamond were tricky. She was trying to do the diamond, stopped and said, "That's not right," and quickly moved on to the next one. She did an eye spy picture game to identify the objects that start with a certain sound, like find the things that start with the "t" sound. As far as behavior, on one hand I was surprised that there were NO concerns, but then again it's always different when mommy isn't hovering to correct her every mis-step. That automatically turns into selective hearing and straight-up ignoring! She listened, stayed on task, and understood directions.
At one point when we were discussing the behavior, and the woman said they call Jenna the cheerleader because she's so enthusiastic about everything, I just had to laugh and tell the woman that it must be that she got out of the house because we've been cooped up inside, and I've been seeing a different little girl. Of course I know how well Jenna separates from me and does in school, but I realized the woman could take that as me being out of touch with Jenna or that I don't appreciate that about her or something. It's weird how I feel like I have to defend my parenting. Also, when she was talking about working on cutting with scissors, I told her that I have two other little ones that I'm going back and forth with, so I'm not really leaving Jenna with scissors to practice. I laughed about it, but hopefully she didn't take offense to that :-\ Either way, I sat at that table doing everything I could to not 1) cry and 2) laugh hysterically in sheer pride and joy. It's just a preK screening, but in those 15 minutes of going over Jenna's skills assessment I felt such satisfaction and accomplishment in myself. She didn't have to straight out say, you've done a great job, and she didn't. But sitting there seeing her reaction to all that Jenna was able to do and the individual that she is, was validation enough for me.
I feel like since having the babies, I miss developments and things with Jenna that she gets in school, but I am really glad that she has her outlet in school and can come home, we can be excited together on her counting or drawing something new or some different craft, things that I don't really have the time and energy to do at home...I guess except on snow days. It was really perfect, God-ordained timing with Jenna's age and having Ava. On one hand I'm going to always be a teacher for Jenna, but on the other, as Ava is getting bigger I feel like I've taught Jenna all I can in the "getting ready for school" capacity, atleast at this time in my life with the demands of Ava and Jared. I am so grateful that I was able to spend her first three years so focused on her, reading to her, taking her out, teaching, practicing, playing. Thankfully Ava takes a big nap during the day where Jenna and I can do projects or do a learning workbook. But at times I'll start something with Jenna, and have to say, "Oh wait, Ava's awake, I'll be back," or "Hold on, I need to get Jared's bottle ready." Today she did get whiny when I had to feed Jared. She just wanted me to put him in his rocking chair :) But while we don't have many routines left besides baby napping schedules, she has adapted really well. It was no surprise, though, that when Lance asked who she wanted to take her to movie night she said, "Mommy. I love mommy."
But before we headed out for that, I took Ava with me to go visit my friend and her baby. We stopped to get some flowers and then made it through the 17 degree (lower with wind chill) walk inside the hospital. One thing I thought about was that, although Jared is really little for his age, he has grown so much! Thankfully I had no yearning for another child or anything when I held the baby :) I kept Ava in the stroller, so we didn't stay too long as she was getting whiny, but it was a nice outing with just me and her. We got home, I cooked up some meat for Lance to make tacos, and Jenna and I were off to church. We did stop at the bakery for a big Valentine's day cookie (that Jenna picked out), and I had a miniature piece of white cake with a strawberry sauce, white chocolate mousse and strawberry on top. We were going to be a few minutes late for the movie, but it was nice to not make her rush to get somewhere. It's also good that she missed the baracuda in the beginning, it's scares her. Although she did surprisingly well during the scary angler fish part I'm trying to prep her for scary, loud things like that by telling her to plug her ears and close her eyes. Before she would run out of the room altogether, but I think I've convinced her that she doesn't have to miss more of the movie than necessary by leaving the room. Just close your ears and eyes, and I'll tell you when it's done. She must have asked me 10 times to sit right by her so I can hold her during the scary parts. She also knows how to control the remote to fast-foward the DVR for recorded movies, so she can get past the scary parts herself. Overall, the time out for us today was great. She had great manners, telling me thank you every time I brought a drink or food to our table for us, she would climb on my lap during the movie, we played a little Wii. There was also a little devotional for the kids mid-movie to think about why Nemo got in trouble and lost (he didn't listen to his dad), and that even though Nemo didn't listen, his dad still loved him and wasn't going to stop until he found him. She was exhausted by the time we got home, and so was I. I'm not used to being out that late. I think we left around 8:30. It's 11:30 right now, and I'm delusional.
In closing, no matter how much I have to tell Jenna to wait, stop what she's doing to Ava, don't do this or that...I love that girl, and she loves me, and now she has shown the world, well her preschool, how much I've invested in her. I guess I should technically say that I don't need recognition, it's my job as a mother to also be a teacher and guide her, and I do it out of my love for her. That's all fine and dandy, but it's also nice to know that someone notices!!!
Sunday, January 16, 2011
CSN
As you may have noticed on Facebook and my New Years entry, I have been on a surge to share products that I've found. I call it the Clifton Shopping Network. I'm in no way saying these products are the best out there, everyone do what I'm doing, what you're doing is wrong, nothing like that. I love to find a deal, find good food and good quality products. Since having my kids I've gradually tried to find products that are better for them than what I might find with the leading brands. I'm not going to claim that I've done hours and hours of research on every possible product. I also won't say that I never take them to McDonald's or other fast food. I'm not totally "green" or au naturale on everything, though one of Jenna's school mottos is to take care of your world, and sometimes I feel guilty throwing things in the trash that could go in the recycle bin. It's annoying :) Some of the things I like now might also change along the way, so take from them what you will.
The purpose of this particular post is to share the formula that I've chosen for Jared. I have mentioned in previous posts that for some things I try to go organic, with eggs, straight milk, chicken, things like that. Probably like a lot of people that are bombarded with the "go green and organic" rhetoric, I do wish I could shop at Whole Foods all the time and get more organic products, but 1. I can't afford it, 2. I don't want scratchy recycled toilet paper and 3. I don't want to drive 40 minutes to the grocery store. Yes, there are a lot more organic options now, even Super Walmart as organic packaged lettuce, sealed pre-cut veggies, their own Organic milk, etc. So that is great, and I look out for those things. The main reason is avoiding any added, unnecessary chemicals, processing and hormones in animals products. I have this fear that antibiotics in mass produced chicken might make my kids resistant to antibiotics and that added hormones in these animals are going to make Jared girly. Yes, that's right, I said it.
SO I had used Similac Soy with the girls, originally with Jenna because I thought it might help with her gas, and I thought she was lactose intolerant. I stuck with it for Ava since that was what I used with Jenna and she had done great with it. When it came time to get formula for Jared I thought I'd stay with the Similac brand. We had already started getting organic milk, etc., so I didn't want to get a regular formula. I was really excited to see that Similac had an organic version, that the ped's office had Similac coupons at the time, and that you can also print them online. Score! At this point, formula was just a supplement to my breastmilk, as needed. But as I started getting closer to moving to formula full-time I started looking for a different organic formula. He seemed to like Similac fine, and so did I, but curiosity set in.
I don't even remember how I came across this formula, maybe just in a Google of "organic baby formula" or something, but I saw a Nature's One brand that was organic, they had soy, lactose free, etc. I decided to check them out further, examine ingredients, compare brands (which they also do on their website), and do price comparisons. One of the big things that caught my eye was that they don't use the DHA/ARA supplement that is found in most baby formulas (and a lot of milk products now) that supposedly makes the formula closer to mother's milk and helps with brain development. So I immediately thought, what is wrong with these people to not include that in their formula?? But they have explanations of why, and they made sense to me. In particular the fact that the DHA/ARA supplements in most baby formulas are derived by bleaching and deoderizing. I also did print out all of their fact sheets and asked Jared's dr. about them. She said it's just fine. This particular formula is labeled for "toddlers" since they promote breastmilk until 12 months, but nutritionally it is suitable for babies. I also asked the pediatrician about the DHA/ARA, and she told me exactly what I had read online in my research. Medically, there hasn't been a conclusion drawn that adding them to formula actually helps brain development or anything that is advertised for it. I wouldn't necessarily say it is harmful, but really no definite benefit or necessity. The Nature's One does use fatty acids that promote the body's own development of DHA and ARA. This helped ease my mind on this issue with the Nature's One. I also found excellent reviews on other websites (one in particular is linked below). Aside from that, the other nutritional component that caught my eye was that they don't use corn syrup and corn syrup solids but brown rice syrup as the carbohydrate. I've also been on a "no high fructose corn syrup as much as possible" kick lately, and I appreciated that they didn't use sucrose (basically table sugar) either. These carbs and sugars are what make babies hungrier, drink more formula, etc.
Here are some links:
http://naturesonedirect.com/ordafo.html
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1792824/babys_only_organic_toddler_formula.html?cat=25
A couple practical points too, I mentioned price comparisons. They're standard can of powder formula is $10. The leading brands for sensitive, soy or organic that I've seen are around $15. Aside from cost, the company has awesome customer service. I had to cancel an order (I was originally going to try Lactose free for Jared and then changed my mind), I had placed it on a Friday, sent them an email, and they emailed me back on Monday and had canceled the order and the pending charge on my card.
I will say there are two things that I don't like about the formula so far. One is that they don't have a pre-made liquid version. I've gotten spoiled with the Similac Organic because I've only been able to find the liquid. Baby's Only is just powder. The other is that it gets really foamy when I shake it up to mix it. I have to let it sit for a couple minutes and pour diagonally into the bottle. But if these are the worst things I can think of about a product I'm ok with that :)
Again, the last thing I want to do is go all superior on anyone. I'm just sharing my findings and hoping to open up other people's curiosity. As you know by now, the whole breastfeeding thing with Jared has been a roller coaster, so the formula decision was a big one for me. Who knew there was more than Enfamil and Similac? :)
The purpose of this particular post is to share the formula that I've chosen for Jared. I have mentioned in previous posts that for some things I try to go organic, with eggs, straight milk, chicken, things like that. Probably like a lot of people that are bombarded with the "go green and organic" rhetoric, I do wish I could shop at Whole Foods all the time and get more organic products, but 1. I can't afford it, 2. I don't want scratchy recycled toilet paper and 3. I don't want to drive 40 minutes to the grocery store. Yes, there are a lot more organic options now, even Super Walmart as organic packaged lettuce, sealed pre-cut veggies, their own Organic milk, etc. So that is great, and I look out for those things. The main reason is avoiding any added, unnecessary chemicals, processing and hormones in animals products. I have this fear that antibiotics in mass produced chicken might make my kids resistant to antibiotics and that added hormones in these animals are going to make Jared girly. Yes, that's right, I said it.
SO I had used Similac Soy with the girls, originally with Jenna because I thought it might help with her gas, and I thought she was lactose intolerant. I stuck with it for Ava since that was what I used with Jenna and she had done great with it. When it came time to get formula for Jared I thought I'd stay with the Similac brand. We had already started getting organic milk, etc., so I didn't want to get a regular formula. I was really excited to see that Similac had an organic version, that the ped's office had Similac coupons at the time, and that you can also print them online. Score! At this point, formula was just a supplement to my breastmilk, as needed. But as I started getting closer to moving to formula full-time I started looking for a different organic formula. He seemed to like Similac fine, and so did I, but curiosity set in.
I don't even remember how I came across this formula, maybe just in a Google of "organic baby formula" or something, but I saw a Nature's One brand that was organic, they had soy, lactose free, etc. I decided to check them out further, examine ingredients, compare brands (which they also do on their website), and do price comparisons. One of the big things that caught my eye was that they don't use the DHA/ARA supplement that is found in most baby formulas (and a lot of milk products now) that supposedly makes the formula closer to mother's milk and helps with brain development. So I immediately thought, what is wrong with these people to not include that in their formula?? But they have explanations of why, and they made sense to me. In particular the fact that the DHA/ARA supplements in most baby formulas are derived by bleaching and deoderizing. I also did print out all of their fact sheets and asked Jared's dr. about them. She said it's just fine. This particular formula is labeled for "toddlers" since they promote breastmilk until 12 months, but nutritionally it is suitable for babies. I also asked the pediatrician about the DHA/ARA, and she told me exactly what I had read online in my research. Medically, there hasn't been a conclusion drawn that adding them to formula actually helps brain development or anything that is advertised for it. I wouldn't necessarily say it is harmful, but really no definite benefit or necessity. The Nature's One does use fatty acids that promote the body's own development of DHA and ARA. This helped ease my mind on this issue with the Nature's One. I also found excellent reviews on other websites (one in particular is linked below). Aside from that, the other nutritional component that caught my eye was that they don't use corn syrup and corn syrup solids but brown rice syrup as the carbohydrate. I've also been on a "no high fructose corn syrup as much as possible" kick lately, and I appreciated that they didn't use sucrose (basically table sugar) either. These carbs and sugars are what make babies hungrier, drink more formula, etc.
Here are some links:
http://naturesonedirect.com/ordafo.html
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1792824/babys_only_organic_toddler_formula.html?cat=25
A couple practical points too, I mentioned price comparisons. They're standard can of powder formula is $10. The leading brands for sensitive, soy or organic that I've seen are around $15. Aside from cost, the company has awesome customer service. I had to cancel an order (I was originally going to try Lactose free for Jared and then changed my mind), I had placed it on a Friday, sent them an email, and they emailed me back on Monday and had canceled the order and the pending charge on my card.
I will say there are two things that I don't like about the formula so far. One is that they don't have a pre-made liquid version. I've gotten spoiled with the Similac Organic because I've only been able to find the liquid. Baby's Only is just powder. The other is that it gets really foamy when I shake it up to mix it. I have to let it sit for a couple minutes and pour diagonally into the bottle. But if these are the worst things I can think of about a product I'm ok with that :)
Again, the last thing I want to do is go all superior on anyone. I'm just sharing my findings and hoping to open up other people's curiosity. As you know by now, the whole breastfeeding thing with Jared has been a roller coaster, so the formula decision was a big one for me. Who knew there was more than Enfamil and Similac? :)
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Ahhhh *sigh*
I'm finally ok with Jared not nursing, mostly because he has slept through the night ever since we went to formula full-time. It's been a long 7 1/2 months continuing to get him twice during the night, up every 3-4 hours. The first full-time bottle night he went down at 9, woke up at 1, I told Lance to give him his pacifier and see what happens. He screamed for a whole 5 seconds and fell back asleep until 8!! Lance checked on him before he left to work to make sure he was ok :) The second night he went down around 8:45 and was up at 5. I gave him his bottle, put him back down, and he was back up around 7. The third night, last night, he had a bottle around 7:45, bed at 9, up at 6. I woke up to Jared in the bouncy seat at the end of the bed with the bathroom light on! I quickly called Lance to tell him that he can get laid back down in the morning LOL So that's just what I did at 7 a.m., and he didn't complain a bit. In fact, he fell back asleep until 9. Now, in the past I got in that habit of staying up late when I know the kids are going to sleep, but I have also forgotten how nice it is to get more than 4 hours of sleep!!! I've actually felt refreshed and ok with getting up before 7.
So far today has been a good day. Of course Ava saw me when I went to put Jared down because Jenna left their door open, so I went and got Ava out, sent Jenna to the potty and started the routines. Ava wanted to go potty after Jenna, so she did and got a pull-up for it. I heated up some coffee, turned on some cartoons for the girls while I got breakfast ready. Jared got up at 9, fed him some breakfast hoping he would hold off on the bottle until we got a friend's house for a playdate.
The girls both played better than I thought they would, especially as naptime for Ava rolled around. It was nice mommy time and very leisurely. Jenna quickly found the animals and dinosaurs and put them up on the dresser where no other child could reach them. Each of the girls both also managed to fall off the bed within the first 30 minutes of being there. Removing the steps only made Ava's screaming worse. She's so resiliant. She also doesn't listen for anything. Whenever I tell her not to do something, like take someone else's pizza or get off the coffee table, her response is acknowledgement of my speaking, a grin, and continuing to do it anyway. I need to find a way to make it her decision :) Somehow I also forgot Jared's pacifier at home. He was being so good at home and was wide awake. I put him in his car seat with a toy and didn't even think about it. I've mostly been trying to just give it to him when he needs to sleep or is really cranky. Those two usually go together with this calm, lovey cuddler. Unfortunately, during the day, the only way he'll nap is in his swing or if we're in the car. Well while we were out he would only be held when nap time came, and would not take a nap in his car seat or be tricked by the substitute pacifier. We left around 1 so I could get Ava down for a good nap, and he was passed out by the time I had gotten the girls belts on. Poor guy. We got home, both girls went down for a nap (after much reluctance from Jenna as she gets a nap maybe once a week), Jared got a bottle and went in the swing. It's 2:45 and all the kids are down. Ahhhh. Counting down to the next round. When Lance gets home we're heading out to eat and get some paint for Jared's room. Time to move on from Ava's powder pink :)
So far today has been a good day. Of course Ava saw me when I went to put Jared down because Jenna left their door open, so I went and got Ava out, sent Jenna to the potty and started the routines. Ava wanted to go potty after Jenna, so she did and got a pull-up for it. I heated up some coffee, turned on some cartoons for the girls while I got breakfast ready. Jared got up at 9, fed him some breakfast hoping he would hold off on the bottle until we got a friend's house for a playdate.
The girls both played better than I thought they would, especially as naptime for Ava rolled around. It was nice mommy time and very leisurely. Jenna quickly found the animals and dinosaurs and put them up on the dresser where no other child could reach them. Each of the girls both also managed to fall off the bed within the first 30 minutes of being there. Removing the steps only made Ava's screaming worse. She's so resiliant. She also doesn't listen for anything. Whenever I tell her not to do something, like take someone else's pizza or get off the coffee table, her response is acknowledgement of my speaking, a grin, and continuing to do it anyway. I need to find a way to make it her decision :) Somehow I also forgot Jared's pacifier at home. He was being so good at home and was wide awake. I put him in his car seat with a toy and didn't even think about it. I've mostly been trying to just give it to him when he needs to sleep or is really cranky. Those two usually go together with this calm, lovey cuddler. Unfortunately, during the day, the only way he'll nap is in his swing or if we're in the car. Well while we were out he would only be held when nap time came, and would not take a nap in his car seat or be tricked by the substitute pacifier. We left around 1 so I could get Ava down for a good nap, and he was passed out by the time I had gotten the girls belts on. Poor guy. We got home, both girls went down for a nap (after much reluctance from Jenna as she gets a nap maybe once a week), Jared got a bottle and went in the swing. It's 2:45 and all the kids are down. Ahhhh. Counting down to the next round. When Lance gets home we're heading out to eat and get some paint for Jared's room. Time to move on from Ava's powder pink :)
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Today is the Day
It's day 2 of transitioning Jared to bottle. It's definitely a better day than yesterday. I have been actually supplementing/having the bottle in addition to nursing. I've come to grips that he LOVES the bottle and that I don't have a big supply, so instead of going cold turkey, which is what I thought I'd be doing, I'm giving him what I've got then giving him the bottle. We'll see how long this lasts, especially when he knows the bottle will be coming. But it has definitely helped me feel somewhat useful in this department versus sobbing when I give him the bottle myself :) Regarding the neediness of this momma's boy, it warmed my heart when he woke up cranky from his nap and just wanted me to hold him. He stretches his arms over my shoulders and grabs my hair. He loves to play with it. If I turn him around to face out on my lap, he throws a fit. Much needed cuddles today. I was also able to lighten up a little bit in trying to convey to Lance how emotional the transition is for me right now. Definitely feeling the inadequecy. Things really turned around for me at church being able to talk to some ladies about it and getting some sympathy hugs. Thank you!
Last night while I was in the depths of this breastfeeding pit I was listening to the music for church since I hadn't gone to practice this week. It was just in the background while I was blogging and listening more for learning than worshiping. Practicing the music before service this morning was the beginning of a "lightening." While my down feelings on the situation were still present, I was able to step away from it for a little while and just worship and focus on God instead of myself. We did a couple songs that you've probably heard a million times, but really spoke to me. One was "Blessed Be the Lord God Almighty."
Father in heaven how we love you
We lift your name in all the earth.
May your kingdom be established in our praises,
As Your people declare your mighty works!
Blessed be the Lord God Almighty
Who was and is and is to come.
Blessed be the Lord God Almighty
Who reigns forevermore.
The other was "Today is the Day." For some reason when I would hear it on the radio it sounded a little corny to me. Much props to our worship team :)
I'm casting my cares aside
I'm leaving my past behind
I'm setting my heart and mind on You Jesus
I'm reaching my hand to Yours
Believing theres so much more
Knowing that all You have in store for me is good
Is good
Today is the day You have made
I will rejoice and be glad in it
Today is the day You have made
I will rejoice and be glad in it
And I won't worry about tomorrow
I'm trusting in what You say
Today is the day
I needed this today.
Last night while I was in the depths of this breastfeeding pit I was listening to the music for church since I hadn't gone to practice this week. It was just in the background while I was blogging and listening more for learning than worshiping. Practicing the music before service this morning was the beginning of a "lightening." While my down feelings on the situation were still present, I was able to step away from it for a little while and just worship and focus on God instead of myself. We did a couple songs that you've probably heard a million times, but really spoke to me. One was "Blessed Be the Lord God Almighty."
Father in heaven how we love you
We lift your name in all the earth.
May your kingdom be established in our praises,
As Your people declare your mighty works!
Blessed be the Lord God Almighty
Who was and is and is to come.
Blessed be the Lord God Almighty
Who reigns forevermore.
The other was "Today is the Day." For some reason when I would hear it on the radio it sounded a little corny to me. Much props to our worship team :)
I'm casting my cares aside
I'm leaving my past behind
I'm setting my heart and mind on You Jesus
I'm reaching my hand to Yours
Believing theres so much more
Knowing that all You have in store for me is good
Is good
Today is the day You have made
I will rejoice and be glad in it
Today is the day You have made
I will rejoice and be glad in it
And I won't worry about tomorrow
I'm trusting in what You say
Today is the day
I needed this today.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
The Boob Tube
No I'm talking about TV, so I would advise men to turn right around here. I'm talking about breastfeeding. They say not to write when you're emotional, but who cares, this is why I have a blog. It might sound like rambling, though. It's late, and I'm VERY emotional. For a while now, Jared has only been nursing for 5 minutes total. He is in the 25th percentile. I thought it was 50th, but discovered this at his last checkup for an ear infection. I know he's just a little guy, but the fact that he just doesn't nurse very long and is so little is disturbing to me. He is fine when I'm full, but he doesn't want to work for it anymore. He has always taken to the bottle when we've needed to give him one, so I know the transition to bottle will be great for him. Me, on the other, not so much. With Jenna we were supplementing with formula from the beginning, she was always in the top percentiles and is still tall and healthy. Ava is average-to-upper and loves to eat! I made it to 5 weeks just nursing with her, and the transition to bottle was just fine. It's what I knew, bottles for my babies. In the beginning with Jared, I would pump but mostly nurse. It was just in the last couple months that we started incorporating formula so Lance could feel him, I could go out by myself, etc. The last couple nights Lance has gotten Jared for his 3 a.m. feeding, and I've actually gotten full nights of sleep. Awesome.
Then...we went out to the store to buy formula. I was a little sad and teary-eyed this morning that he wouldn't "need me anymore." I was talking to Lance about church tomorrow and my needing to leave the sanctuary to feed Jared, and I realized mid-sentence that I wouldn't. The main reason for switching is that I do not think he was getting enough from me. He is not a big complainer, even when he is hungry, so I couldn't rely on him screaming in hunger. One day he went 5 hours between feedings during the day. I was waiting for him to give me a cue that he was hungry, but it didn't happen. Unacceptable to me :) So he really needs me and my decision making for his well-being more than my milk at this point. The other day I nursed him, then gave him 3 ounces of formula in a bottle, and I literally felt JOYFUL, successful and happy for him!
Tonight he had a bottle around 6. I thought I could at least alternate feedings with the bottle and nursing. I made plans to go out to a friend's house to watch a movie. I asked Lance not to give him a bottle, but wait until I got home at 10. I made it at 10:15 because I had to stop at the store. I had a feeling while I was driving, and was already getting upset, that there would be a bottle on the table when I walked in. I was right and pissed. There it was on the table. I walked down the hall, Lance had just put Jared down, I asked the obvious question, "Did you give him a bottle?" He said Jared starting yelling at 9:45, so I don't blame him for feeding the child obviously, but then he says I can feed him when he wakes up next time. FYI, if you don't use it you lose it when it comes to nursing. It had already been 8 hours since I fed him last. I totally broke down rushing off to the bathroom and all! Then I was in a mad panic to sterilize all the pump equipment and get pumping. To my (sort of) surprise I got about 2 1/2 ounces. This was just as disheartening as Lance giving him a bottle because that means Jared wouldn't have gotten much from me anyway. I did pump a week or so ago and got the same result but thought upping my water, etc. would help. Nope. Now, I know there are supplements and things you can take to help increase your milk supply, but he is just not interested. Afterall, he has two sisters running around that provide more entertainment that having to work for food :)
After the girls, I never thought I would become so committed to nursing this long. It really has created a bond between me and Jared. I'm ready to start crying just typing this. But I will simply end for tonight, enjoy my night's sleep, be grateful that he (and the girls) will get better sleep by hopefully eliminating one of his night time feedings. I am proud to have gone as long as I have, and I know Jared and I will both be better for it. So, the boob tube is getting shut off.
Then...we went out to the store to buy formula. I was a little sad and teary-eyed this morning that he wouldn't "need me anymore." I was talking to Lance about church tomorrow and my needing to leave the sanctuary to feed Jared, and I realized mid-sentence that I wouldn't. The main reason for switching is that I do not think he was getting enough from me. He is not a big complainer, even when he is hungry, so I couldn't rely on him screaming in hunger. One day he went 5 hours between feedings during the day. I was waiting for him to give me a cue that he was hungry, but it didn't happen. Unacceptable to me :) So he really needs me and my decision making for his well-being more than my milk at this point. The other day I nursed him, then gave him 3 ounces of formula in a bottle, and I literally felt JOYFUL, successful and happy for him!
Tonight he had a bottle around 6. I thought I could at least alternate feedings with the bottle and nursing. I made plans to go out to a friend's house to watch a movie. I asked Lance not to give him a bottle, but wait until I got home at 10. I made it at 10:15 because I had to stop at the store. I had a feeling while I was driving, and was already getting upset, that there would be a bottle on the table when I walked in. I was right and pissed. There it was on the table. I walked down the hall, Lance had just put Jared down, I asked the obvious question, "Did you give him a bottle?" He said Jared starting yelling at 9:45, so I don't blame him for feeding the child obviously, but then he says I can feed him when he wakes up next time. FYI, if you don't use it you lose it when it comes to nursing. It had already been 8 hours since I fed him last. I totally broke down rushing off to the bathroom and all! Then I was in a mad panic to sterilize all the pump equipment and get pumping. To my (sort of) surprise I got about 2 1/2 ounces. This was just as disheartening as Lance giving him a bottle because that means Jared wouldn't have gotten much from me anyway. I did pump a week or so ago and got the same result but thought upping my water, etc. would help. Nope. Now, I know there are supplements and things you can take to help increase your milk supply, but he is just not interested. Afterall, he has two sisters running around that provide more entertainment that having to work for food :)
After the girls, I never thought I would become so committed to nursing this long. It really has created a bond between me and Jared. I'm ready to start crying just typing this. But I will simply end for tonight, enjoy my night's sleep, be grateful that he (and the girls) will get better sleep by hopefully eliminating one of his night time feedings. I am proud to have gone as long as I have, and I know Jared and I will both be better for it. So, the boob tube is getting shut off.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Talkin' 'bout my girls...
I had to get the kids out of the house today, and thankfully got an invitation to join a couple other moms at the mall play area, then we would go to the food court for lunch and have time to get Jenna to school. I thought I was doing good on time in the morning but still ended up getting to the mall 20 minutes passed meeting time. The kids did pretty good, except that Jenna was running around on the cushioned seat that borders the inside of the play area, showing the toddlers what NOT to do; made a little girl cry; and somehow Ava managed to scratch her eyeball! More on that later.
Jenna is the most sociable kid I know. She LOVES to make new "friends" to play with, but lately she's also been ditching playmates for others and not understanding that everyone can play together. She'll just tell them she doesn't want to play with them anymore, and she's playing with someone else. On one hand it's good that she speaks her mind (she was a late talker and bit of a pushover as a young toddler), but on the other hand these are sensitive 4 year olds we're talking about. So how do you teach a 4 year old to empathize without making them just play with everyone to avoid hurt feelings? Today at the mall Jenna approached a little girl and asked if she wanted to be her friend and play. The girls decided to hold hands running around and sliding down this mountain climbing thing, then Jenna pulls the little girl down! The only thing worse than your kid doing something wrong is the glare you get from the other parent if they aren't satisfied with your response. Well, sorry I have two other babies that need to be monitored, and Jenna generally knows how to play without getting hurt. Just a note, I did correct the behavior right away by calling her over, but somehow I got the feeling the other mother disapproved that I was not sitting right in front of the girls playing (like she was) to quickly correct my naughty daughter's behavior. Either way, I told Jenna that they could hold hands but she cannot pull her because the girl could get hurt. So the girls continued to play. Again it was going well, they're running around laughing, then Jenna decides that she's playing with the babies now and doesn't want to play with the girl anymore. The result, the girl running to her mother's lap crying because they're "supposed to be friends!" Strike 2 for me with the other mother. I felt so bad for the girl, though, and encouraged Jenna to play with her and see that her feelings were hurt, but all Jenna was thinking was she wanted to climb on the truck with the babies. I couldn't really do anything else. The left shortly after that.
While all this was going down, Ava would occassionally come up to me whining to get up or something. With her it's almost a crying-wolf situation. She whines so much I have to really discern when something is wrong or if she's just being her whiny self. I didn't notice any physical ailments, but it was near her usual nap time. The girls got up late today, so I thought she'd be ok pushing nap time until we took Jenna to school. No such luck with this whiny girl. Around 11 we went down to the food court, got some Subway, the girls did great sitting at lunch, Jared fell asleep. It was such a nice leisurely time. But then I noticed that Ava's eye was a lilittle pink and she had a little scratch on her neck. The thoughts running through my head, did she just come down with pink eye, how did she do get scratched, who the heck hurt my kid, and how aweful I was to not notice if she was whining in the play area because she was hurt or at what point she got hurt. I didn't notice anything unusual at the time. Great.
Well, we took Jenna to school (she was super-excited coming out of their winter break), then we went home, and Ava took almost a 2 1/2 hour nap! Lance came home a little early and went to pick Jenna up, get some dessert from the bakery, run some errands. When Ava woke up I noticed she had a red scratch on her eyeball! She didn't really complain about it, wasn't rubbing it, so I gave it a little time before I called the dr. I did though around 4 and made a 6 p.m. appointment. Thankfully there was no scratch on the cornia, no sign of infection at the time, but we got antiobiotic drops just in case to avoid infection for a couple days. She did so great playing quietly in the dr.'s office, sitting on my lap cuddling in the waiting room and she did pretty well for the dr. to look in her eye, even she commented on how good she is :) I let her hold her "mecine" box on the drive home.
It was so nice taking Ava to the dr. by herself, and she loved my undivided attention. It reminded me of the days that it was just Jenna, and we could just have fun together. Just in that hour and a half I felt closer to Ava. On the way home she was singing, "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus" while the radio was on and then pretended her eye drop box was a phone. I looked back for a second to see it up to her ear, then I heard "Hello, hat, oh, bye bye." Once we got home I gave her a snack at the table before bed, and she asked, "Pray?" before she would eat. Usually Lance and I tag-team on the baths, so he was finishing up with Jenna's bath, and I gave Ava hers and put her to bed. I'll have to make mommy and Ava play dates a priority. I so don't want her to have that typical middle-child feeling of being left out. I'm so glad that she is independent, inquisitive and smart, and she is fully capable of playing by herself (she actually prefers it sometimes). But it will be really nice when Jenna goes to kindergarten every day, where I can return back to the time it was just me and Jenna and have quality Ava/mommy time.
Some days I literally have to remind myself of how much I love them. You'd think it would just always be on the forefront, but it's a challenge sometimes to take that step back and act in love...when Jenna is working my last nerve with not listening and I'm repeating things 5 times, or when Ava gives me that sneaky "I'm going to do what I want because I can and you think I'm so cute" smile and runs off with my sunglasses. They are really such sweeties. I love talkin' 'bout my girls.
Jenna is the most sociable kid I know. She LOVES to make new "friends" to play with, but lately she's also been ditching playmates for others and not understanding that everyone can play together. She'll just tell them she doesn't want to play with them anymore, and she's playing with someone else. On one hand it's good that she speaks her mind (she was a late talker and bit of a pushover as a young toddler), but on the other hand these are sensitive 4 year olds we're talking about. So how do you teach a 4 year old to empathize without making them just play with everyone to avoid hurt feelings? Today at the mall Jenna approached a little girl and asked if she wanted to be her friend and play. The girls decided to hold hands running around and sliding down this mountain climbing thing, then Jenna pulls the little girl down! The only thing worse than your kid doing something wrong is the glare you get from the other parent if they aren't satisfied with your response. Well, sorry I have two other babies that need to be monitored, and Jenna generally knows how to play without getting hurt. Just a note, I did correct the behavior right away by calling her over, but somehow I got the feeling the other mother disapproved that I was not sitting right in front of the girls playing (like she was) to quickly correct my naughty daughter's behavior. Either way, I told Jenna that they could hold hands but she cannot pull her because the girl could get hurt. So the girls continued to play. Again it was going well, they're running around laughing, then Jenna decides that she's playing with the babies now and doesn't want to play with the girl anymore. The result, the girl running to her mother's lap crying because they're "supposed to be friends!" Strike 2 for me with the other mother. I felt so bad for the girl, though, and encouraged Jenna to play with her and see that her feelings were hurt, but all Jenna was thinking was she wanted to climb on the truck with the babies. I couldn't really do anything else. The left shortly after that.
While all this was going down, Ava would occassionally come up to me whining to get up or something. With her it's almost a crying-wolf situation. She whines so much I have to really discern when something is wrong or if she's just being her whiny self. I didn't notice any physical ailments, but it was near her usual nap time. The girls got up late today, so I thought she'd be ok pushing nap time until we took Jenna to school. No such luck with this whiny girl. Around 11 we went down to the food court, got some Subway, the girls did great sitting at lunch, Jared fell asleep. It was such a nice leisurely time. But then I noticed that Ava's eye was a lilittle pink and she had a little scratch on her neck. The thoughts running through my head, did she just come down with pink eye, how did she do get scratched, who the heck hurt my kid, and how aweful I was to not notice if she was whining in the play area because she was hurt or at what point she got hurt. I didn't notice anything unusual at the time. Great.
Well, we took Jenna to school (she was super-excited coming out of their winter break), then we went home, and Ava took almost a 2 1/2 hour nap! Lance came home a little early and went to pick Jenna up, get some dessert from the bakery, run some errands. When Ava woke up I noticed she had a red scratch on her eyeball! She didn't really complain about it, wasn't rubbing it, so I gave it a little time before I called the dr. I did though around 4 and made a 6 p.m. appointment. Thankfully there was no scratch on the cornia, no sign of infection at the time, but we got antiobiotic drops just in case to avoid infection for a couple days. She did so great playing quietly in the dr.'s office, sitting on my lap cuddling in the waiting room and she did pretty well for the dr. to look in her eye, even she commented on how good she is :) I let her hold her "mecine" box on the drive home.
It was so nice taking Ava to the dr. by herself, and she loved my undivided attention. It reminded me of the days that it was just Jenna, and we could just have fun together. Just in that hour and a half I felt closer to Ava. On the way home she was singing, "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus" while the radio was on and then pretended her eye drop box was a phone. I looked back for a second to see it up to her ear, then I heard "Hello, hat, oh, bye bye." Once we got home I gave her a snack at the table before bed, and she asked, "Pray?" before she would eat. Usually Lance and I tag-team on the baths, so he was finishing up with Jenna's bath, and I gave Ava hers and put her to bed. I'll have to make mommy and Ava play dates a priority. I so don't want her to have that typical middle-child feeling of being left out. I'm so glad that she is independent, inquisitive and smart, and she is fully capable of playing by herself (she actually prefers it sometimes). But it will be really nice when Jenna goes to kindergarten every day, where I can return back to the time it was just me and Jenna and have quality Ava/mommy time.
Some days I literally have to remind myself of how much I love them. You'd think it would just always be on the forefront, but it's a challenge sometimes to take that step back and act in love...when Jenna is working my last nerve with not listening and I'm repeating things 5 times, or when Ava gives me that sneaky "I'm going to do what I want because I can and you think I'm so cute" smile and runs off with my sunglasses. They are really such sweeties. I love talkin' 'bout my girls.
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