Ava has been the sweetest thing the last few days. A couple weeks ago we took the girls to get their ears pierced. For being so brave they got lots of goodies, headbands and suckers that they picked out at Claire's and milkshakes at Chick Fil A afterward. It has been a little challenging trying to keep them calm while I clean and twist them, but as long as they're distracted with something else (brushing their teeth, watching a cartoon, etc.) it's not so bad. Ava actually ran into the bathroom last night to remind ME that I forgot to clean them. I also talk them through it while I'm cleaning, "Oh, there's some yucky stuff coming out, I have to clean it off." Keeping it light and fun versus holding them down crying seems to work better for all of us.
Over the last couple weeks I've also been working on calming Ava down and nipping the screaming in the bud. She whines and screams as a reaction to pretty much everything, so it's been a challenge for both of us - for me to keep my cool, which isn't always successful, and for her to focus on me and talk instead of cry and scream. She even started breaking out when she cries, she's just so stressed. I'm hoping that my patience and attention to her feelings will affect her overall demeanor and future reactions. Like tonight, when Jared hit her in the head with a car she came and told me about it instead of screaming and crying, or when she stubbed her toe walking out of the kitchen, she kept walking while I talked to her instead of having a meltdown. Now, there were some whines and fits today, but I just have to keep up on the positive reinforcement, pick the battles, not give into the dramatics but hone in what is bothering her. For a while it was almost easier to ignore or just give her what she wants so she'll stop crying; we all know how well-rounded and unspoiled a child she would grow into if I continued that. I also realized that she, besides wanting attention, needs resolution.
Example 1. We were getting ready to leave the History Museum, getting jackets on. I know that she likes to try and put the second arm in herself, but it was taking too long, so I put it on for her. She stood completely still, screaming her head off in the middle of the main hall. I tried the walk-away and she'll just come method - yeah that didn't work. So as the line of people next to us was looking at her, I calmly walked back, kneeled down in front of her and tried calming her. She was crying about her arm, so I took off the jacket and let her do it, cheered her on for doing it herself, and she immediately stopped crying. When we got outside she whined a little that her hood wouldn't stay up because it was so windy, but we laughed about it as we all rushed to the car. They all passed out on the way back.
Example 2. She wants an answer, any answer. She'll ask where every place is, and wants a real response. "Where is church?" I can no longer just say, "Oh we have to drive there, you can't see it from here," or she will just keep asking me. It must be something like, "Down the road, by the mall," and she'll say, "Ok." She did the same thing with "Where is the doctor's?" I said, "It's kind of far." She kept asking, so I finally said, "Fenton!!" and she said, "Oh, k." It is the cutest and most frustrating thing ever. It's not that she even knows where Fenton is, but she knows what a run-around is.
I am constantly amazed and impressed by this little "curly girly." The other day she came up to me out of nowhere, gave me a hug and said, "Thank you for getting my headband at the jewelry store mom." I almost cried right there. At dinner time Lance will tell me "thank you for making dinner mommy" to bring on some appreciation from the kids, sometimes they'll thank me back. I gave the kids slivers of some key lime pie Lance had gotten the other day, Jenna also wanted another little piece of cornbread. I serve up the pie, and Jenna started full-on complaining about wanting a bigger piece. I split one piece between the three kids, then I was going to have a regular piece. I am going back and forth with Jenna, "If you can't be happy with what you have, you won't have any. I'm being fair by giving you all the same size." She then has the audacity to then tell me not to give her as big a piece of cornbread next time! Finally, a breath of fresh air in a whine-infused kitchen when Ava says, "Thank you for making dinner and giving pie mommy." Not to mention that she asked twice for "more milk please mom." Now, I didn't want to make Jenna feel bad or anything, but I couldn't help but switch to the high-pitch mommy voice to tell Ava, "Aw, you're welcome sweetheart."
Later I decided to give the toddler bed another try with Ava. She's been able to climb out, and does, for a while now. I'd just rather her get up out of the bed than worry about her slipping off the rail half-awake in the middle of the night. So Lance and I took apart the crib and moved the little bed in. We were talking up the whole "big girl bed" thing with her while she was in and out. She's also getting used to the idea of us giving toys away because she picked up the little kick piano that had been hanging on her crib and says, "This is for someone else now," and threw it down. LOL Of course Jared loves that he can reach it to climb in and won't be left out. While I was changing the sheets, I put a toddler size top sheet on and told Ava it would be just like Jenna and mommy's bed with another sheet and blanket. When it came time for bed I was not looking forward to her getting in and out, playing around, like she did the last time we took the crib conversion rail down in August. But we had our routine, books, prayer, CD in, kisses and getting tucked in. As she was getting in bed she said, "Thank you for putting my new bed, and daddy." :) More often than not one of us also has to lay next to her bed for her to go to sleep, but while the mood was high and fun that she was in a big girl bed I left. It was a little later than I would've liked, but on days that she doesn't take a nap (like today) I just never know what level of frustrating bed-time is going to be. It all rides on Ava's crankiness. To my surprise the only time she called out was to put her blanket back on. Other than that I don't think she's gotten up and is doing great.
Now, would I rather her take the afternoon nap, or just deal with the mood repercussions in the evening to have her pass out at bed time? Decisions...
