My mom went out for herself tonight, and Lance was planning to meet up with a friend at 7, so we managed to get the girls ready before he left. We shoot for 7 p.m. bed time, but that usually turns into 7:30-7:45. Tonight we got them in bed at 6:45! Lance put Jared in his Jumperoo, was ready to walk out the door, and cue Jared spitting up some of his dinner on his hands while jumping. So, Lance proceeds to leave :) I could sense this was just the beginning. Jared's lucky to get a bath once a week, he was due for one, and I didn't want him to be stinky of course, so I left him in the Jumperoo while I got his bath ready. I could hear the girls laughing, chatting, sometimes yelling, but I had to get his bath done. He also took a really short afternoon nap, so I was banking on him going to bed early too. I can normally handle the girls' chatting, but for some reason, tonight I had to work extra hard on containing the momwolf.
Giving Jared a bath was actually calming for me, but while getting him ready for bed I must have gone into the girls' room 2 or 3 times trying to convince them (mainly Jenna) to lay down and stay in bed. So far, after the "reasoning" techniques, Jenna doesn't get the computer, they don't get any cartoons, and no treats tomorrow. I actually did say that they won't get to go outside, but I might re-nig on that one or I'll go stir-crazy :) It was time to give Jared his bottle. Aside from knowing the girls weren't calming down anytime soon, as I was feeding Jared I saw was a little girl come on the porch and start playing with the kids' chalk! First thought, who lets their kid do that, are they just walking down the street? Is this a new girl who wants to play with Jenna? She rings the doorbell, so I have to stop feeding Jared. Thankfully he didn't fuss like I thought he would, but as soon as I answered the door I heard Jenna run out to see who it was and yell at her to get back in bed. Alas, it was a tree guy we called earlier giving us an estimate on trimming. Fine. So I went back to feeding Jared.
Now, one of the worst patience-testers for me is not being able to interject with Jenna and Ava because I'm feeding Jared and rendered immobile. If I put him down he'd be hysterical. So I have to just sit...and listen...to Jenna running, jumping, instigating...to Ava crying...or just laughing and encouraging Jenna. I know that yelling back to them will have to affect whatsoever. I went in a couple more times after I fed Jared, and just when I thought they were calming down, Jenna roars out with a monster noise resulting in Ava crying. They calm down, a couple minutes later, the same thing.
I was just talking to a friend the other day about how original nursery rhymes are kind of disturbing...Humpty Dumpty, Jack and Jill, but I have to admit that I can now relate to the end of "There was an old lady who lived in a shoe...she whipped them all soundly and put them to bed." In tonight's case, this applied to Jenna, and she is currently in my bed. It's 8:15, the last hour has felt like an eternity, but they are all quiet, and I think my heartrate is returning to normal. I'm not putting this on my mom and Lance of course, but I have been spoiled with her here to help. I need to get back on my game. I wish I still had some Costco cheesecake to drown my frustration and exhaustion in.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Baby corn
Judge as you will LOL...we were all sitting down to dinner, Jared just had a bottle, so he was just scooting around the living room waiting for his turn to eat. But he soon realized what we were doing and made his way under the kitchen table to shovel in as much rice and corn that was falling on the floor that he could. My response, well he's getting his dinner early. We all could not help but laugh at how he just stayed under the table waiting for Ava to drop her food. She also caught on and began intentionally "feeding" him. In my defense the floor was just cleaned and it was hilarious! Now, I am quick to take things out of his mouth as he's picking up random things he finds on the floor. So it's not that I don't care at all, but stuff like that would never fly with baby Jenna. Oh how things change :)
Friday, April 1, 2011
You got me wrapped around your finger...
For a child who wanted nothing more than to be put down and left alone as an infant has done a complete 180 in the last couple weeks, and especially in that last two nights. The only times Ava wants to cuddle are (1) when she's hurt, but even that is short-lived because she just wants immediate consolation and then to be put down; and (2) when she is teething. I usually know when Ava is teething because it is the only time she refuses to go to sleep in her crib and screams and cries in pure agony for mommy or daddy. It is especially worse when she hears us still walking around or the TV on. If this is the case, she must be held (cuddled) on the couch and stay up watching TV with us until we go to bed. It's also usually the cause of her crying in the car. Granted, it was past nap time today, but normally she'd just fall asleep. Inconsolable crying and tired. She did go down for her nap pretty well, though. Waking up didn't go so well, though.
Just to back track a little, with Jenna I was the biggest stickler about keeping her in her own crib/bed. But Jenna was also a HUGE cuddler and loved to be rocked, which sometimes we would do for over an hour to calm her down when she was teething. I would go through the routine of rocking her, but as soon as she got put in her crib would start screaming again. I would rather fall asleep on the floor next to her crib (and sneak out later) than allow her to sleep in our bed. A habit I was sure would never be broken if I started it. It wasn't until she was 3 and had scary dreams we would even consider it. She knows pretty well now that there are only certain times when she can sleep in our room. For example, when Lance is out of town, if she is really scared about something, or when I want her to take a rest without disturbing Ava's nap.
Now, in the case of the crying baby, it is much easier to let a kid "cry it out" when there is only ONE. However, adding more babies to the brood has made us pop up after no more than 5 minutes of crying so the others don't wake up. We'd rather spoil them than disturb the others and create even more frustration for ourselves and them. On more than one occassion Jenna has yelled out for us to come get Ava because she was crying. When Ava had her own room there were times I'd lay on the floor and sneak out, but as she has grown, so has her volume, vocabulary and dramatization. To me, there is nothing more heart-wrenching that my child screaming and crying out my name, but sometimes it's hard to differentiate if the child really needs something worth going to them for, or if they just don't want to go to sleep. Like I said, I can usually tell with Ava that it would be teething, so I am hoping that it's her 2-year molars coming early!
So many things about the way we parent changes as we have more kids. Things that no one can really tell you or that you'll think is "acceptable." I was so protective of Jenna, did everything for her, watched her every minute, and was so focused on routines. In some areas I am reaping the result of that control...in a toddler who whines when asked to do certain things herself or doesn't even want to try, and would rather hold herself than use the potty (that I forced her into before she was ready). She is getting more independent each day now, and some of things have given us good results. She loves organization, and she knows the way we do things in our house (and will remind people if they tell her to do something differently, ie. grandparents). When Ava came along, I quickly learned that I must be more flexible, allow her to do things herself and just not stress so much over little things, especially since I still had to keep order with Jenna testing her limits and my patience. Ava is naturally independent anyway. It is a great blessing but also makes it easier to let her play by herself, which she is content with. I have to be intentional with giving her attention, especially because with Jared as the baby, he gets TONS. He isn't standing or doing as much independently like Ava did. He's more on Jenna's track of development, which I actually love because I can baby him that much more :) He also got some spoiling in letting him sleep with us until I really wanted to let him go in his own crib.
Ava is one smart cookie. On one side, I do think that she sincerely just wants to be cuddled and held when she is teething, and "wants her mommy". But I am equally convinced that she is taking full advantage to get my undivided attention. Case in point the last two nights...
Wednesday night Lance and I took Jenna to church with us, leaving Jared and Ava with my mom to get them ready for bed. Jared goes down easily and wonderfully (though he is just barely teething, so that could be short-lived). Ava, on the other hand, had no intention of going to sleep. My mom tried to put her down for bed, but she would just yell and cry "Mommy, daddy, Jenna, church, BWAHHHHH). So when we got home we found Jared asleep in his room and Ava out on the couch snuggled on Grandma's lap. We made another attempt to put her down at the same time as Jenna. No such luck. So she got to sit out on the couch with me until around 10. I made another attempt at putting her down, and she was not having it. The solution...OUR BED...but only when I was ready to lay down too. She woke up with Lance around 6, I was not having that, Jenna was waking up too, so I put her in her crib and they went back to sleep for 2 hours! Little stinkers :)
Thursday night we all went through the regular routine, the girls got a bath, pjs, teeth brushed, each got to pick a book out and we sat together on their floor. By 7:15 or so they were both quiet and going to sleep. SUCCESS! Or not, cue Ava waking up crying around 9:30. The only thing that would console her, ME holding her on the couch...not Lance, not letting her lay down across the couch, not laying in our bed with just Lance, nothing! Even when Lance was holding her and I decided I should go to bed, if I got out of her sight she screamed. She did actually sleep all night and got up at 7.
What the heck am I going to do now? Is she actually teething, and in that case, with this pass? How long? Or am I starting an endless spoiled cycle of sleeping in our bed. Like I said, I'm pretty good about sensing what's going on with the babies, their crying and needs, but with my mom-guilt of worrying that my middle child isn't getting enough attention and the oh-so-intuitiveness of this toddler, I find myself tightly wrapped around one little tiny finger...and love her for it.
Just to back track a little, with Jenna I was the biggest stickler about keeping her in her own crib/bed. But Jenna was also a HUGE cuddler and loved to be rocked, which sometimes we would do for over an hour to calm her down when she was teething. I would go through the routine of rocking her, but as soon as she got put in her crib would start screaming again. I would rather fall asleep on the floor next to her crib (and sneak out later) than allow her to sleep in our bed. A habit I was sure would never be broken if I started it. It wasn't until she was 3 and had scary dreams we would even consider it. She knows pretty well now that there are only certain times when she can sleep in our room. For example, when Lance is out of town, if she is really scared about something, or when I want her to take a rest without disturbing Ava's nap.
Now, in the case of the crying baby, it is much easier to let a kid "cry it out" when there is only ONE. However, adding more babies to the brood has made us pop up after no more than 5 minutes of crying so the others don't wake up. We'd rather spoil them than disturb the others and create even more frustration for ourselves and them. On more than one occassion Jenna has yelled out for us to come get Ava because she was crying. When Ava had her own room there were times I'd lay on the floor and sneak out, but as she has grown, so has her volume, vocabulary and dramatization. To me, there is nothing more heart-wrenching that my child screaming and crying out my name, but sometimes it's hard to differentiate if the child really needs something worth going to them for, or if they just don't want to go to sleep. Like I said, I can usually tell with Ava that it would be teething, so I am hoping that it's her 2-year molars coming early!
So many things about the way we parent changes as we have more kids. Things that no one can really tell you or that you'll think is "acceptable." I was so protective of Jenna, did everything for her, watched her every minute, and was so focused on routines. In some areas I am reaping the result of that control...in a toddler who whines when asked to do certain things herself or doesn't even want to try, and would rather hold herself than use the potty (that I forced her into before she was ready). She is getting more independent each day now, and some of things have given us good results. She loves organization, and she knows the way we do things in our house (and will remind people if they tell her to do something differently, ie. grandparents). When Ava came along, I quickly learned that I must be more flexible, allow her to do things herself and just not stress so much over little things, especially since I still had to keep order with Jenna testing her limits and my patience. Ava is naturally independent anyway. It is a great blessing but also makes it easier to let her play by herself, which she is content with. I have to be intentional with giving her attention, especially because with Jared as the baby, he gets TONS. He isn't standing or doing as much independently like Ava did. He's more on Jenna's track of development, which I actually love because I can baby him that much more :) He also got some spoiling in letting him sleep with us until I really wanted to let him go in his own crib.
Ava is one smart cookie. On one side, I do think that she sincerely just wants to be cuddled and held when she is teething, and "wants her mommy". But I am equally convinced that she is taking full advantage to get my undivided attention. Case in point the last two nights...
Wednesday night Lance and I took Jenna to church with us, leaving Jared and Ava with my mom to get them ready for bed. Jared goes down easily and wonderfully (though he is just barely teething, so that could be short-lived). Ava, on the other hand, had no intention of going to sleep. My mom tried to put her down for bed, but she would just yell and cry "Mommy, daddy, Jenna, church, BWAHHHHH). So when we got home we found Jared asleep in his room and Ava out on the couch snuggled on Grandma's lap. We made another attempt to put her down at the same time as Jenna. No such luck. So she got to sit out on the couch with me until around 10. I made another attempt at putting her down, and she was not having it. The solution...OUR BED...but only when I was ready to lay down too. She woke up with Lance around 6, I was not having that, Jenna was waking up too, so I put her in her crib and they went back to sleep for 2 hours! Little stinkers :)
Thursday night we all went through the regular routine, the girls got a bath, pjs, teeth brushed, each got to pick a book out and we sat together on their floor. By 7:15 or so they were both quiet and going to sleep. SUCCESS! Or not, cue Ava waking up crying around 9:30. The only thing that would console her, ME holding her on the couch...not Lance, not letting her lay down across the couch, not laying in our bed with just Lance, nothing! Even when Lance was holding her and I decided I should go to bed, if I got out of her sight she screamed. She did actually sleep all night and got up at 7.
What the heck am I going to do now? Is she actually teething, and in that case, with this pass? How long? Or am I starting an endless spoiled cycle of sleeping in our bed. Like I said, I'm pretty good about sensing what's going on with the babies, their crying and needs, but with my mom-guilt of worrying that my middle child isn't getting enough attention and the oh-so-intuitiveness of this toddler, I find myself tightly wrapped around one little tiny finger...and love her for it.
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