Simple Extravagance...it seems like an oxymoron, but sometimes it is the simple that is overlooked...if it were just examined and paid attention to can reveal extravagance. We're singing a song on Sunday called "Center" by Charlie Hall and Matt Redman. Do you ever just listen to or sing songs out of habit or (in my case) out of necessity, and not really pay attention to the words? Well, a couple days ago I started listening to and singing this song getting ready for Sunday, and at face value seemed monotonous, kind of repetitive, not much to it because I was just learning how it went, how to sing it, etc. But what a challenge it is to me spiritually to make Christ the CENTER. It's easy to just say as a Christian, Christ is the center of my life. But intentionally, actively placing him there is different. He is what everything else revolves around, everyone was made FOR HIM, his glory, his reflection, he holds everything together.
Oh Christ, be the center of our lives
Be the place we fix our eyes
Be the center of our lives
You're the center of the universe
Everything was made for you, Jesus
Breath of every living thing
Everyone was made for you
You hold everything together
You hold everything together
We lift our eyes to heaven
And we wrap our lives around your life
We lift our eyes to heaven to you
Oh Christ, be the center of our lives
Be the place we fix our eyes
Be the center of our lives
(And turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in his wonderful face
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of his glory and grace)
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Moving up and out
7:30 p.m. Sleepless nights seem to be the norm around here with Jared, but today we moved Ava to Jenna's room. Jenna has been a little afraid of her room at night, so I'm hoping it will help now that she's no longer alone in there. Adjustments to the bedtime routine need to be made, Ava goes down earlier, and I usually read and/or lay with Jenna at bed time. This will be interesting. Jared is moving to Ava's room. Here's hoping that will help his sleep (or non-sleep) situation. I got all of Ava's clothes switched to the "girls' room." That just sounds so cute to me. I am even more eager now to turn Ava's powder pink room with butterflies and flowers into a boy room! Know anyone who's looking for a girls nursery decor set? :)
8:30 p.m. I started this earlier and am just getting back to it. Well, sleepless nights seem like they'll continue to be the norm as Jenna and Ava are awake making each other laugh and talking/yelling at each other. It is the cutest but also the most frustrating part of my day! We threatened and almost took Ava out to go back in her room and Jenna had a complete meltdown with tears and "Don't take her, she's my friend!!!" How could I take her out at that point? Lance has given up and gone to bed. I'm giving all I have to not rip into Jenna right now and take Ava out. Jenna is singing, "Sing, Sing, Sing" by Chris Tomlin. Ava is yelling back at her. Jenna is telling her words to repeat over and over. Ava is throwing her pacifier and blankets out saying "uh oh." Then silence? Ava is egging Jenna on, will she take the bait? One minute record so far...
9:30 p.m. Update - Lance can't go to sleep, he moved Ava. I stayed out of it, but Jenna is crying "Don't take away my sister, please bring her back." I'm crying too but didn't let her see so she'd think me and Lance were in agreement. :-\
8:30 p.m. I started this earlier and am just getting back to it. Well, sleepless nights seem like they'll continue to be the norm as Jenna and Ava are awake making each other laugh and talking/yelling at each other. It is the cutest but also the most frustrating part of my day! We threatened and almost took Ava out to go back in her room and Jenna had a complete meltdown with tears and "Don't take her, she's my friend!!!" How could I take her out at that point? Lance has given up and gone to bed. I'm giving all I have to not rip into Jenna right now and take Ava out. Jenna is singing, "Sing, Sing, Sing" by Chris Tomlin. Ava is yelling back at her. Jenna is telling her words to repeat over and over. Ava is throwing her pacifier and blankets out saying "uh oh." Then silence? Ava is egging Jenna on, will she take the bait? One minute record so far...
9:30 p.m. Update - Lance can't go to sleep, he moved Ava. I stayed out of it, but Jenna is crying "Don't take away my sister, please bring her back." I'm crying too but didn't let her see so she'd think me and Lance were in agreement. :-\
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Live and Let Laugh
It comes in waves, the cloud over my brain, the blur that is my perspective, the looming headache. When it does, the patience for the whining wears thin, and the time outs come quickly. On these days, after the 2 o'clock lull, I find myself checking the clock more often, thinking that will make 4:30 come sooner. Thankfully today my relief came at 4:15 instead. Even though it was only 15 minutes, my heart lightly leapt when Ava ran to the door and yelled, "Daddy!"
The day started out fine, the girls woke up after 7, we went to McDonalds with friends where they could get their energy out, and then the struggle of nap time for Jenna began. I would not settle for anything less than her staying in bed during this time. An hour later, after yelling at her for picking her nose and eating it right in front of me, most of the toys that she decided to play with out of her bed got taken out of her room, her nap time friend "blankie" got taken away, the baby gate had gone up so she couldn't close her door, I officially did not care anymore. But at least Ava slept for 2 hours, and Jenna didn't pee on the carpet while she was trapped in her room.
I've come to realize that Jenna also has dumping issues. If a couple crayons fall out of the container, for some reason they all have to get dumped. This also applies to Ava's cheerios that Jenna accidentally knocked over and the dixie cup of paint water that accidentally got knocked over. WHY must the containers be emptied? My sanity could just be spared if she picked up the container where it lay. Maybe I'll try the "freeze!" method as soon as something gets knocked over instead of the blabbering and running over there to try and stop the inevitable.
The latest time out at 4:10 came after Jenna had been told repeatedly not to take her sister's snack, did just that. The timer was set for 4 minutes, she was still in the chair in the middle of the living room when Lance came home, but she had to wait for the usual welcome home hug until the timer went off. It was during these 4 minutes I was on the couch, and I noticed Jenna had a little plush bat that she got from her Grammy for Halloween. Out of nowhere she pointed it at me and made a grunting noise. I could not stop myself...I burst out laughing. While one part of me wanted to scold her for this "attack" on me because she was mad about being in time out, I couldn't help it. Lance asked what she was doing, and of course she was "being a bat."
The evening is approaching, Lance is playing with the girls, Jared is swinging away, and I am writing this in peace and can laugh at my own foolishness of trying to make my kid anything other than that, a kid.
The day started out fine, the girls woke up after 7, we went to McDonalds with friends where they could get their energy out, and then the struggle of nap time for Jenna began. I would not settle for anything less than her staying in bed during this time. An hour later, after yelling at her for picking her nose and eating it right in front of me, most of the toys that she decided to play with out of her bed got taken out of her room, her nap time friend "blankie" got taken away, the baby gate had gone up so she couldn't close her door, I officially did not care anymore. But at least Ava slept for 2 hours, and Jenna didn't pee on the carpet while she was trapped in her room.
I've come to realize that Jenna also has dumping issues. If a couple crayons fall out of the container, for some reason they all have to get dumped. This also applies to Ava's cheerios that Jenna accidentally knocked over and the dixie cup of paint water that accidentally got knocked over. WHY must the containers be emptied? My sanity could just be spared if she picked up the container where it lay. Maybe I'll try the "freeze!" method as soon as something gets knocked over instead of the blabbering and running over there to try and stop the inevitable.
The latest time out at 4:10 came after Jenna had been told repeatedly not to take her sister's snack, did just that. The timer was set for 4 minutes, she was still in the chair in the middle of the living room when Lance came home, but she had to wait for the usual welcome home hug until the timer went off. It was during these 4 minutes I was on the couch, and I noticed Jenna had a little plush bat that she got from her Grammy for Halloween. Out of nowhere she pointed it at me and made a grunting noise. I could not stop myself...I burst out laughing. While one part of me wanted to scold her for this "attack" on me because she was mad about being in time out, I couldn't help it. Lance asked what she was doing, and of course she was "being a bat."
The evening is approaching, Lance is playing with the girls, Jared is swinging away, and I am writing this in peace and can laugh at my own foolishness of trying to make my kid anything other than that, a kid.
Monday, October 18, 2010
The Unlikely Nurturer
As a baby, my firstborn Jenna was the sweetest, entertaining from the start and the easiest baby I could've asked for. And thank God for that with my first because I endured a painful, difficult, postpartum. But she loved cuddling, would fall asleep anywhere and would love to be rocked. As a little toddler it took her a while to really get her thoughts into words, so she was kind of a push-over, but she listened, loved and wanted to please.
When my second child, Ava, was born, I knew right away that she was a middle child. I thought for a while that I was good with two kids, then SURPRISE, there was Jared. I just knew it, though, because she was immediately an attention grabber, not seeker, but grabber. There was no way she would allow herself to be overlooked or not heard. A total opposite of Jenna, she would not be held for long periods of time, be rocked to sleep or left alone very long. She was very particular about everything. If something wasn't done to her liking you would hear about it in whining, yelling and screaming. For example, when she started eating regular food, she had to immediately be taken from her changing table to high chair in the morning or after naptime with some snacks while her food was being prepared. There was no putting her down to walk to the kitchen or delay in getting her there. She's almost 18 months, and the last few days we've been trying to break this now that she's in a booster and not the high chair. She has to wait just like Jenna for breakfast. She is just as hilarious and entertaining as Jenna, but definitely unique.
In looking and comparing the two girls, Ava was the most unlikely, to me, to be the loving "mommy" type. Maybe it's the closeness in age to Jared and the fact that Jenna was forced to share at an older age when it had just been her for almost 3 years. No matter what it was, Ava has changed my perception and assumptions of how harsh of a personality she would have in these past few months watching her with Jared. While she naturally doesn't know her own strength or that rolling and crawling over Jared will hurt him, she wants to be near him, give him his pacifier when he's crying, give him kisses, help me change his diaper, throw him the ball while he's in his bouncy seat, and in the last week take care of all of JENNA'S baby dolls. They are the ones that she's allowed to carry around, feed and put wherever she wants, so she does. She puts them in the bouncy seat, on the playmat, in the car seat. Things that I just assumed Jenna would have done when Ava was born. Don't get me wrong, Jenna is such a great helper when asked. She'll go get me a diaper or put the baby's clothes in the hamper, but would rather play by herself and not volunteer her baby services.
I do so love that Ava has become the unlikely nurturer, is so much sweeter than I thought she would be as a picky, difficult baby, and, while she gives me that little sneaky smile when she's pushing her boundaries, she is so loving and the perfect little helper for Jared.
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you. -Psalm 139:13-18 (NIV)
When my second child, Ava, was born, I knew right away that she was a middle child. I thought for a while that I was good with two kids, then SURPRISE, there was Jared. I just knew it, though, because she was immediately an attention grabber, not seeker, but grabber. There was no way she would allow herself to be overlooked or not heard. A total opposite of Jenna, she would not be held for long periods of time, be rocked to sleep or left alone very long. She was very particular about everything. If something wasn't done to her liking you would hear about it in whining, yelling and screaming. For example, when she started eating regular food, she had to immediately be taken from her changing table to high chair in the morning or after naptime with some snacks while her food was being prepared. There was no putting her down to walk to the kitchen or delay in getting her there. She's almost 18 months, and the last few days we've been trying to break this now that she's in a booster and not the high chair. She has to wait just like Jenna for breakfast. She is just as hilarious and entertaining as Jenna, but definitely unique.
In looking and comparing the two girls, Ava was the most unlikely, to me, to be the loving "mommy" type. Maybe it's the closeness in age to Jared and the fact that Jenna was forced to share at an older age when it had just been her for almost 3 years. No matter what it was, Ava has changed my perception and assumptions of how harsh of a personality she would have in these past few months watching her with Jared. While she naturally doesn't know her own strength or that rolling and crawling over Jared will hurt him, she wants to be near him, give him his pacifier when he's crying, give him kisses, help me change his diaper, throw him the ball while he's in his bouncy seat, and in the last week take care of all of JENNA'S baby dolls. They are the ones that she's allowed to carry around, feed and put wherever she wants, so she does. She puts them in the bouncy seat, on the playmat, in the car seat. Things that I just assumed Jenna would have done when Ava was born. Don't get me wrong, Jenna is such a great helper when asked. She'll go get me a diaper or put the baby's clothes in the hamper, but would rather play by herself and not volunteer her baby services.
I do so love that Ava has become the unlikely nurturer, is so much sweeter than I thought she would be as a picky, difficult baby, and, while she gives me that little sneaky smile when she's pushing her boundaries, she is so loving and the perfect little helper for Jared.
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you. -Psalm 139:13-18 (NIV)
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Journal, poetry, song, blog - the evolution of organized thought
I've never been much of a journaler. I tried once, but felt weird just talking to myself in a notebook where only I would ever read it...but I know that I never would have again after I wrote it down. Now I'm actually talking to people, well maybe, if people actually read this :) When I was younger I used to love writing poems, then it became a rant of thoughts that I would restructure into songs. Some of you know that one of my thoughts on paper became my wedding song gift to Lance. Maybe I'll share more here. I guess if they ever went anywhere, the posts here could serve as copyright :) I do miss getting my thoughts out. Hopefully it won't appear just as ranting, but would be thought-inspiring or at the very least, worth the read. We shall see...
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