This is the sub-title of the book we are getting ready to read in our small group. It's called Just a Minute by Wess Stafford. About a month or so ago, when I was going over different parenting and marriage studies that our group could do this semester, I happened to check my email, opened a regular newsletter from MOPS International, and noticed this book advertised in the margin. I had heard of Compassion International, didn't know many details, but the fact that the book was written by the President caught my eye. More than that, at that particular time, I had really been reflecting on what kind of memories and mark as a mother I want to leave my children with.
I heard somewhere that by the time a child is 6, their personality is pretty much set. In my opinion, that's also when memories really start to "stick." I don't often remember specifics about my toddler years, maybe glimpses brought back by photographs. But I remember a lot more after I got into that elementary age. What glimpses do I want my children to remember about me at that stage in their life? When I react to something they did, like Jenna accidentally coughing in my face and immediately jerking and scolding her; or just how I speak to them when I'm frustrated, in a hurry or hormonal. I see glimpses of my childhood and also think I've blocked some things out. You know, how certain things flash in your mind and then others you try to remember details but can't? Often times it is the negative that leaves the biggest impression on us as children. I want to lessen the negative as much as possible. I want my children to know without a doubt that they are loved, valued and treasured.
This book caught my eye in that way, as a mother, but also in a broader sense, teaching toddlers on Sunday, interacting with other moms and their kids through playdates or school. It reminded me of how impressionable and vulnerable children are. We just went through The Five Love Languages of Children, and the main purpose of discovering a child's love language is to better understand how to keep their "love tank" full and how that will affect their self-esteem, attitude, ultimately their future. This doesn't mean unrealistic expectation of perfection, but it's a reminder to never lose sight of a child's perception of our words and actions. In the heart of a child, one moment can really last forever, a moment that could set the course for a child's life.
A note from our study guide: "Dr. Wess Stafford demonstrates powerfully in Just a Minute how every adult has opportunities to make a profound impact in a child’s life. It only takes a moment—an apt word, a gentle encouragement, or a caring gesture at a crucial time—to set a child on course for a promising future, secure in the knowledge that they are loved by God. To do this, we must become aware of the children around us and willing to take advantage of the divine appointments God arranges between us and children in need."
